made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!