Nicole vs. Life
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you