Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

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  (302): I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers. http://tfl.nu/ujt7
  Replies (13) Good night (647) Bad night (3321)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer

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  (484): Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer http://tfl.nu/we5u
  Replies (10) Good night (911) Bad night (4497)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.

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  (405): I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/im6u
  Replies (43) Good night (4605) Bad night (805)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.

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  (630): dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead. http://tfl.nu/dy9t
  Replies (23) Good night (4639) Bad night (1413)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.

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  (817): so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring. http://tfl.nu/hdeg
  Replies (30) Good night (5974) Bad night (1047)
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  (619): View more from California

  I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.

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  (619): I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me. http://tfl.nu/zz8y
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (2607)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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  (630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7
  Replies (4) Good night (2824) Bad night (1250)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.

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  (940): Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car. http://tfl.nu/1zvq
  Replies (8) Good night (827) Bad night (2481)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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  (401): Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself. http://tfl.nu/agcx
  Replies (3) Good night (2242) Bad night (845)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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  (540): There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day. http://tfl.nu/ga2m
  Replies (5) Good night (963) Bad night (426)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr

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  (505): This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr http://tfl.nu/vuni
  Replies (11) Good night (513) Bad night (931)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes

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  (931): Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes http://tfl.nu/7hsu
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (325)
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  (209): View more from California

  Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.

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  (209): Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment. http://tfl.nu/2qw0
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (211)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.

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  (404): Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate. http://tfl.nu/nuzb
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (376)
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  (454): View more from

  Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me

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  (454): Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me http://tfl.nu/lebl
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (446)

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