Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.

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  (562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty. http://tfl.nu/kgia
  Replies (34) Good night (12000) Bad night (1587)
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  (626): View more from California

  that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.

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  (626): that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress. http://tfl.nu/stra
  Replies (21) Good night (842) Bad night (5215)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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  (609): Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us http://tfl.nu/r5ct
  Replies (19) Good night (5908) Bad night (823)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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  (301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u
  Replies (10) Good night (1021) Bad night (3324)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

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  (309): I'd suck anything for a pizza right now http://tfl.nu/grjz
  Replies (42) Good night (5487) Bad night (1814)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

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  (205): Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/viom
  Replies (26) Good night (7785) Bad night (1636)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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  (781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1
  Replies (15) Good night (3249) Bad night (1990)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  did you find a tooth?

  (254): View more from Texas

  did you lose one?

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  (512): did you find a tooth? (254): did you lose one? http://tfl.nu/1ieh
  Replies (16) Good night (3720) Bad night (1494)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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  (919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3120) Bad night (918)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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  (267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m
  Replies (13) Good night (3603) Bad night (1414)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer

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  (757): FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer http://tfl.nu/zfwz
  Replies (13) Good night (1877) Bad night (1124)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him

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  (314): it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him http://tfl.nu/nis3
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (1143)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.

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  (847): We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love. http://tfl.nu/9pu7
  Replies (7) Good night (997) Bad night (841)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.

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  (971): He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME. http://tfl.nu/az6l
  Replies (7) Good night (483) Bad night (868)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  How did work go after you told them you were in jail?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Great they tried to bail me out.

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  (720): How did work go after you told them you were in jail? (402): Great they tried to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/vh27
  Replies (2) Good night (989) Bad night (288)

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