Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I wannas sexs uuuuu

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  (616) I wannas sexs uuuuu http://tfl.nu/1vml
  Replies (7) Good night (1477) Bad night (598)
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  (212): View more from New York

  dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  idk but i think it had a face

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  (212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night? (1-212): idk but i think it had a face http://tfl.nu/y33v
  Replies (15) Good night (913) Bad night (1550)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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  (501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53
  Replies (18) Good night (1106) Bad night (2251)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....

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  (812): Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms.... http://tfl.nu/4wax
  Replies (34) Good night (6616) Bad night (1291)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.

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  (504): Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself. http://tfl.nu/n9ey
  Replies (9) Good night (1066) Bad night (2874)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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  (757): No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire http://tfl.nu/j9c5
  Replies (3) Good night (3229) Bad night (998)
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  (518): View more from New York

  in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

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  (518): in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility http://tfl.nu/vdpc
  Replies (8) Good night (3590) Bad night (820)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now

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  (210): He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now http://tfl.nu/2tm5
  Replies (11) Good night (4502) Bad night (985)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (695)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

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  (406): I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth. http://tfl.nu/0auz
  Replies (12) Good night (789) Bad night (2216)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand

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  (410): Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand http://tfl.nu/h8jq
  Replies (3) Good night (1558) Bad night (409)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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  (817): I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes? http://tfl.nu/cea8
  Replies (15) Good night (2952) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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  (270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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  (469): I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car http://tfl.nu/2mv3
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off

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  (973): In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off http://tfl.nu/ncu8
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (616)

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