Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids

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  (419): I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids http://tfl.nu/0arl
  Replies (11) Good night (1030) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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  (205): Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail http://tfl.nu/2rgt
  Replies (8) Good night (1122) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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  (206): I thought spray tan was a myth (1-206): ? (206): You know, something that only happens in Jersey http://tfl.nu/gplq
  Replies (48) Good night (2681) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

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  (972): they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE! http://tfl.nu/deur
  Replies (141) Good night (19903) Bad night (2385)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.

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  (250): Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/w09f
  Replies (36) Good night (767) Bad night (8483)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple

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  (630): we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple http://tfl.nu/8ojo
  Replies (60) Good night (799) Bad night (6167)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.

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  (860): Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth. http://tfl.nu/vl66
  Replies (16) Good night (1394) Bad night (5847)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.

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  (812): You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down. http://tfl.nu/c4iu
  Replies (6) Good night (3133) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Not including when spray tanning

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  (425): It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom. (425): Not including when spray tanning http://tfl.nu/n9vy
  Replies (17) Good night (961) Bad night (4104)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.

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  (904): Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover. http://tfl.nu/qk4i
  Replies (3) Good night (1530) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.

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  (406): The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been. http://tfl.nu/1jfg
  Replies (3) Good night (1245) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?

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  (215): It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right? http://tfl.nu/00h0
  Replies (12) Good night (3183) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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  (563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v
  Replies (8) Good night (1443) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.

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  (630): Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger. http://tfl.nu/07lb
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.

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  (941): Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment. http://tfl.nu/phl2
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (219)

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