dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
