My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
