I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
