i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
