I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize