the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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