there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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