who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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