HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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