He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
