i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
