I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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