just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
