Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
