The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
