i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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