I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
