my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
