and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize