You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
