Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
