I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
