I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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