U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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