dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
