ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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