break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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