respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize