they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
