I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Vodka?
Forever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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