Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
