what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
