My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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