I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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