And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
