Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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