yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize