One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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