I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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