Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
