i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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