Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
