What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
