At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
