Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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