worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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