Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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