this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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