Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
