when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
