wrigley field is MILF paradise
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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