this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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