How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
