I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
