when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize