just come out here and I will go home with you...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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