Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hippo gnu deer
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
