So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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