I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
