the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
