We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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