Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
